Student Stories

Snow White and the 7 vertically challenged Achondroplasias  

     Once upon a time, in an Old Kingdom, there lived an old King and his daughter. They got on well and were just getting over the Queen’s death – when the King met another woman.
 Now you might say, nothing wrong with that, life must go on after all; however this woman not only didn’t love the King, she had plotted to kill the King and claim the throne to herself!
Sure enough, on their wedding night, the King was murdered under mysterious circumstances… of course; the new Queen was never investigated as her celebrity status seemed to unofficially place her above the law.
But our story is not about the King’s demise, it follows the tale of the beautiful King’s daughter, Snow White. You see once the King was out of the picture, poor Snow White became a nuisance to the Queen, who no longer needed to fake affection for her in order to get to the King.

 So one night, as Snow White was walking down a dark ally, (a sense of self-preservation not being a strong point) she found herself ambushed by a gang of thugs.
The imposing figure loomed down on Snow White, sneering at her terror.
‘What’s the matter little girl? This the worst thing that happened to you since you pricked your finger? I bet it is you spoiled brat!’
 ‘Don’t you think killing a helpless 15 year old in cold blood is a bit low, even for such a man as yourself who makes a living off doing the Queens dirty work?’
The thug turned around, and saw that it was one of his fellow bandits that was questioning the Queen’s judgement.
‘Well… I’m just doing my job you know… any work will do these days…’ He tailed off when he realised that everyone else was nodding in agreement.
‘I say we let her go!’ Shouted someone, which was again met with a general sense of agreement.
‘But… what will the Queen say? She said bring her heart as proof!’ said the thug, not wanting to face the Queen’s anger.
‘Lets buy a pigs heart from the butcher, that’ll fool her!’
All this time, Snow White had been quietly cowering in a corner, wondering why she hadn’t been stabbed already, after all, that was the way these things were supposed to go wasn’t it; first they do some gloating, call her a spoiled brat then stab her and run off.
So when she was told that they were going to let her go and run off into the forest, she was furious.

‘What! Your supposed to stab me, not feed me to some wild animals lurking in the woods! I’ll be killed anyway, unless I miraculously stumble upon a hut filled with dwarves lurking in the middle of the forest who spend all day mining gold and diamonds singing stupid songs and have weird names like Bashful, Sneezy, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey and Doc.’ But despite her complaints, the thugs lead her to the edge of the forest and she was forced to go wandering off, away from civilisation.
That is, until she stumbled upon a hut filled with dwarves lurking in the middle of the forest who spent all day mining gold and diamonds singing stupid songs who’s names were Bashful, Sneezy, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey and Doc.
Snow White had been wandering the forest for hours and was beginning to get tired.
Exhausted, she sat down underneath a tree- and jumped up again, shrieking. She had just sat on something small and lumpy. And it had groaned. To her amazement, she saw that she had been sitting on the smallest person she had ever seen. The figure groaned and sat up.
‘Ugh…where am I? Oh no, not again!’ He gave a start when he realised he was not alone. ‘And who are you? Maybe I’m still dreaming…’ he thought aloud.
‘You’re…you’re tiny!’ she said the first thing that came into her mouth.
‘Oh not the old nightmare again! Well just you hear, I’ve had enough of this! For your information, you dream person thingy, I am Achondroplasia and I regard that,’ he breathed in ‘as Sizeist!’ Snow white didn’t know what to say. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I am going back to my home!’ and with that he stomped of into the trees. Snow white hesitated, and then followed.

  It was not long before they reached a small cottage in the middle of a clearing. The dwarf, still muttering about sizeism, went in. After a while, she got the courage to knock on the door. ‘Hello?’ Another dwarf had opened the door. ‘Who are you?’
‘Umm… just someone who needs food and drink.’
‘Hmmm…well we do need someone to cook and clean I suppose… you are a fitting gender after all…’ the dwarf pondered.
‘Excuse me! In this day and age there is such a thing as equality, thank you very much you sexist midge!’ Snow white shouted.
‘Well what else are you going to do? Your not coming down the mine, that’s for sure…’ The dwarf retorted.
Snow White drew herself up to her full height. ‘Why not? I bet I could be much better than you could!’ The dwarf just laughed.
‘Fine. I’ll prove it. Give me food and a place to sleep tonight, and I’ll bet that in the morning I will mine twice as much as any of you can.’ The dwarf considered.
‘Well it does get boring here. We could do with some entertainment, watching you struggle to lift a pickaxe! Come on in, you can meet the others.’ He led him into a crowded living room, packed with more Achondroplasia. ‘I’m Doc and this is Bashful…’ a cocky looking dwarf winked ‘sleepy…’ the tired looking individual Snow white had met in the forest grunted. Doc introduced everyone in the room.
Snow white snorted. ‘That collection of silly fairy tale names? Good to know your mother had a sense of humour! Honestly, I bet you go round singing silly little tunes as well!' The dwarves exchanged nervous glances.

Mean while, in the Queens palace, all was not well. ‘Just tell me you stupid piece of furniture!’ the Queen screamed at a wall. ‘Furniture indeed! I am a mirror, not some common sofa or armchair!’ the wall replied. ‘For crying out loud. Do I need to repeat myself? I think I do: mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?’
'I’ve told you already- I don’t know!’ the mirror sighed. ‘Magic can only go so far you know. I can talk cant I?’ said the mirror.
‘You’re useless.’ The Queen stated, picking up a convenient, heavy looking brick from her mantle piece.
‘Hay! What are you doing with that! Ahhhh! It’s 7 years bad luck, smashing a mirooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…’ At that moment, one of the thugs the Queen had hired to dispose of Snow White walked into the room, holding a blood-drenched heart.
‘Ah finally! It’s about time!’ And she popped the greasy organ into her mouth.
 ‘Wait a second!’ she chewed thoughtfully ‘that’s not a girl’s heart! This is from a pig!’ She shouted.
‘But how did you know?’ the Bandit asked.
‘A 15 year old girl’s heart,’ the queen explained, ‘has a very distinctive flavour. Guards!’ several armed men stormed into the room. ‘Execute this man!’ while the helpless thug was dragged out, the queen pondered what to do. ‘So Snow White is still alive… what I need, is someway to get to her without her knowing it’s me…’

 The dwarves were walking back from the mine with Snow White, grumbling. Snow White was striding ahead, a huge sack full of gold and diamonds slung over her shoulder. ‘Best damn miner I’ve ever seen…’ said one of the dwarves. ‘Shut up.’ replied Doc. ‘but didn’t you see her! The rock never knew what hit it…’
‘Shut up Shut up Shut up!’ exclaimed Doc.
‘Hey where has she gone?’ asked a dwarf.
‘Doc growled. ‘Where do you think? Back to the cottage. She’s going to get there twice as fast as us!’
Doc groaned. ‘Her legs are twice as long as ours.’

  Back at the cottage, Snow White had just settled in to the armchair closest to the fire when there was a knock on the door. They got back quick, thought snow white, and was surprised when an old lady with a basket of apples opened the door.
‘Apple delivery.’
‘What the…?’
‘I’m the apple lady. I come round every day to drop of the apples. You got a problem with that?’ The lady snapped.
‘No no…’ Snow White said.
‘Then take them’ the lady insisted, as she thrust the apples into Snow Whites hands.
‘You seem a little moody for a delivery person.’ Snow White commented.
‘You would be if you had to trek out to this remote place everyday.’ Fair enough thought Snow White, and closed the door.

A while later, the was another knock on the door. That’ll be them, thought Snow White, but when she opened the door it was the old lady.
‘Apple delivery.’                                                                                                                                                                  ‘But you just came!’ Snow White protested.
‘I what! Oh yeasssss… of coarse I did. I forgot one. Here.’ She held out a shiny red apple.
Snow White examined the fruit closely. ‘How come it looks dangerously red when the other apples were a healthy green?’ She inquired.
‘Oh just stick this in your gob!’
‘Ha….’ As snow white opened her mouth, the old lady stuffed the apple into it. Snow Whites eyes glazed over and she collapsed onto the floor.

 ‘Wake up, you layabout!’ A figure from underneath a pile of duvets groaned. ‘You’ve got to come and heroically wake this princess!’ A woman’s voice shouted. The duvets groaned.
‘Come on!’
‘Mum we’ve been over this hero thing before! I’m 16 and got my whole life ahead of me! I’m not going to run around saving helpless princess just because you want me to! Leave me alone!’ A muffled voice sounded from the heap.
‘Your going and that’s that!’
‘Don’t make me come up there...!’

The dwarves were clustered around the bed where Snow White was lying, apparently dead, on the floor.
‘We’ve got to do something…’ Doc voiced aloud the thought going the each of the dwarves mind. Just then the was a knock on the door.

'I spose I'm gonna have to get that...'groaned Sleepy, who shuffled to the door. It was a bedraggled, tired looking young man.
‘Hey… you look like someone I could relate to!’
‘Whatever. Where’s the helpless damsel in distress?’ The man asked
‘In here. What are you going to do?’ The man looked puzzled.
'Kiss her of coarse. It’s always a kiss that wakes the from eternal sleep isn’t it?’
‘Are you mad! What good would that do?’ and with that, he slammed the door shut.
‘Who was that?’ a dwarf asked.
‘Doesn’t matter. Move out the way, I’ve got an idea.’ Bracing himself, sleepy used the heimlich manoeuvre, and the piece of apple soon flew out of Snow White throat.

 When she was back to full health, Snow White decided to stay with the dwarves, who were only to happy to have a miner as good as Snow White. And so they lived happily ever after… and not once did the words ‘high ho’ ever pass their lips.